Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
