I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
