what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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