I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
