life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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