VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
