Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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