how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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