Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
