You can't special order awesome
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
