just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
