last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
