do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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