You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
