Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
