drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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