so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
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I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic