new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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