woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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