I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Never joke about your clitoris.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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