That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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