whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
