Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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