i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
