You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize