It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
