I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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