I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
