we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
