No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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