i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
