She said her name was "party"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
