haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
