The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
