hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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