After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize