So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Shame - the story of my life.
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