Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
