are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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