I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She needs sedatives and a leash
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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