So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
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They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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