I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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