oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
