I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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