I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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