Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
