just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
