I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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