I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
