walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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