he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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