Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
