I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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