the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
