like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
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Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
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We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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