...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
