If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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